It was in 1984 I think that Michael and I went to Bandungan, Java in Indonesia to work with Rolf and that Rolf had invited Somnath and Udai also to come to Indonesia on that USAID project. My first connection with ISABS therefore was with Somnath,Rolf and Udai. Right from the instant of our connection, I knew in my bones that we were all kindred spirits. When we went to do that long training together in the far reaches of central Java, I remember that we had a most extraordinary time of collegial solidarity. We were doing diversity work! We were really doing a diversity work. I myself spoke Indonesian by then; others did not. We had a group of predominantly Islamic males with three females with us. We kept on offering new designs, reaching to find forms that would meet the necessities of the moment... and we kept on being delighted at the way we could work together. And I remember that pilgrimage we made with the whole group to the ninth-century Hindu shrine... I still hold the memory of those sacred moments.

Towards the end of that contract, Somnath was suggesting that perhaps some day I could come to India to work. But before that we all went one more time to Sumatra to work again together. This time we were seven of us Venji, Abad and Jack joined with four of us Michael, Rolf, Somnath and me. We worked at Lake Toba on group development skills training labs. Once again it was an excellent event. And at that time we agreed that it would be necessary for me to come with Somnath to work at ISABS . I did come. Michael and I worked with Somnath for a week and with Uma Jain for another week in an early lab for women. Later I began to build a team with Bhanu- and so by now , I feel quite familiar, appreciating the slow incremental richness of relationships built over decades.

And, thats how our relationships developed. When I came to Jaipur for the first time, I felt so thrilled to be able to colloborate with so many wonderful people. It was then that I began to hope for Membership in ISABS. At this point I still wonder how to be a more active and contributing member from so far away. But I accept that distance is a tolerable reason for infrequent visits and I accept that I really want to be able to offer more in the future.

-----Alexandra Merrill